Respond

I have been studying for an hour. I request my tutor to call it a day. But he reasoned that just an hour of studying for an hourly-paid teaching won’t look good to my father. So he insisted to study and stay a bit longer. I complied.

After 10 minutes, he receives a phone call, and after this, I notice a unison of changes in his behavior. Voice intonation, choice of words, body language, you name it.

His voice intonation and choice of words had an implication of “flight response.”

He was on the edge of the chair, rubbing his thigh.

Classic demonstration implying that the other person clearly wants to leave, or wants to move on to the next project, or is in hurry.

But it didn’t quite seem like him, given his desperateness to teach me for a bit longer to look good in the eyes of the employer.

So out of innocent curiosity, I simply asked him,

“Sir, is there something, a job, or a work you have to do at home?”

“No. Why would you say that?”

“So you feel no rush to get home or leave now?”

“No (with a ‘hell no’ intonation). I could teach you for more an hour, easily.”

-Oh.

I thought maybe I just misread the signs.

“Although, I have another schedule to teach a student at 1. So I can stay only for 10 more minutes (then-time was 12:20). ”

That was my Aha moment.

I was right.

He is in hurry.

But why would he deny that?

It is just his conscious claiming that he doesn’t ‘rush’ his students to finish early.

But his subconscious clearly responded through the limbic system of the brain.

Limbic system is far from the compliance of the conscious. It is more within the subconscious purview.

Sometimes we can claim one thing (consciously), but deep inside, the case can be another.

I use this leverage all the time when I am at a library or café for a really long hour. I ask myself,

“Do I want to get home now?”

“Am I getting bored from this place now?”

My conscious likes to claim, “No, man. You can never get through with books and coffee. It so doesn’t sound like you.”

But at that moment, I try to disregard my conscious and look toward my subconscious to provide the right answer.

I take a look at my feet down the table. And I see my legs dancing, or feet tapping the floor, on and on.

The body language screams that I want to leave. I want to get home now.

My limbic brain is feeling discomfort and is sending signals down to my feet and legs. Feet and legs pacify the limbic brain by creating motion.

Feet and legs are considered to be the most honest indicator of genuine human emotions.

My subconscious is waiting for this project at the café (or library) to end so I could move on to my next thing back at home.

And I respond to my subconscious, being wary of the nuances of body language.

The obvious isn’t always obvious.

Knowledge of the body language has helped me build a more dependable communication (where there is no verbal whatsoever). It helped me understand others and even myself. I know myself better.